self-harm may be triggering….

I have self-harmed for about 8 years and not without any time stopping for very long until recently. I started self-harming when I was at residential college in Birmingham , I was unhappy I could not cope with the change of environment so I picked up a sharp object and started scratching myself whilst staff their were unaware what i was doing. I carried on doing it and then certain staff noticed, before I knew medical staff were calling me down every day if i turned up to college after I became a day student (again), I carried on doing it at home i still felt unhappy I was on anti-depressants, anxiety and sleeping tablets and I had a psychiatrist but i continued to scratch / cut myself – most of the time with glass from photo frames I had in my bedroom at one point. I would cut myself from my hands up to my shoulders and i didn’t care how many cuts i did the more angry I was the more I did it and i wasn’t gentle i was really hard when i did  it. On 2 occasions i have had stitches from shattering a glass in my hand on purpose and cutting deeply on my arm with glass. I continued to self-harm in hospital and sometimes they were bad especially the ones on my upper arms by my shoulders which are now thick scars, i was surprised i did not have stitches back then. 

But what i’m saying is you should not judge me or anyone who has self-harmed who has scars i have self-harmed since i was 17 and i wish i hadn’t started but i cannot look back on the past as its helped me change, into the person I am today – i wouldn’t of gone to hospital and i wouldn’t of came into supported living and made so many improvements in my life like becoming so independent and reducing my self harm a lot in the past 6 months also becoming a happier person…

If you are a self-harmer or have been i know what you’ve been through . 

Lucy XxX 

 

 

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