I have self harmed since I was 17-18 . I have cut , scratched and banged myself . I have done it since i was a residential student at a college in Birmingham . It started small and it became a large problem . It over ruled my life – I was hospitalised and I carried on doing it every day and the cuts got deeper and more serious . I cut with glass and razor blades . I got worse at times in hospital where i did not care how hard I cut with the object – it was a release from the strong emotions I felt every day . When I left hospital 3-4 months later I had stitches but it did not make me stop it wasn’t until I got settled living independently in my flat , doing more things for myself I slowly reduced my self harm with support . I am happy in my flat and I have made so much progress. I have gone 5 months without touching a single sharp object , yes i still have urges some days the urges are stronger than others and some days they are none existent . I wouldn’t have done it without the consistent , supportive staff team I have who encourage me to not have access to sharpeners or glass objects, they also tell me to ask myself does it help and do you feel any better if you hurt yourself and the answer is it has never helped for long and it only helps for a few seconds .
My scars are slowly fading , I am still not comfortable showing my very scarred arms off – but I’m hoping one day I will be ready .
I am applying bio oil each day and night so I am hoping that will reduce the scars even more .
I am hoping I will never pick up a sharp object again to hurt myself , I have made so much progress . I cannot undo it , it’s took 9 years for me to stop which is a very long time !!!
Lucy xxxx 😄